Assume the Position

There’s a sinking feeling you get when you realise you’re in the wrong place or maybe the right place but events have changed without warning. Suddenly you find yourself caught in unfamiliar territory. Do you make a run for it and hope no one sees you leave or do you stick around and check it out?

Rushing into what I thought was a pilates class recently, it took only thirty seconds to figure out, the next hour was going to be a whole new experience. Never before had I willingly been contorted into various shapes (most commonly, a pretzel), all in the name of exercise. Oh yes, I was about to encounter a whole new world of pain.

Body Balance is a mix of Tai Chi, yoga and pilates. Having never attended the Tuesday night pilates class I thought I was getting a fairly standard class, but on the night in question The Great Switch-a-Roo took place and a substitute instructor stepped in – a Body Balance instructor. I was none the wiser until I’d set up my mat and found myself up to my armpits in my ankles! I could’ve bolted for the door but this is the year of new opportunities and new experiences so I decided to stick around and check it out. By the way, you’ll never feel comfortable outside your ‘comfort zone’ if you don’t stay out there long enough for it to become the new ‘normal’. Scary but true.

Assume the Position
From the moment we had to bend down, touch the floor then step our right foot between our hands, I knew I was in trouble. My foot couldn’t reach that far. I was terrified that ripping sensation, may not have been my lycra pants! Ouch! To top it off the instructor had a wickedly dry sense of humour. We’re talking sawdust here folks. Maybe I wasn’t really in a position to appreciate her dry wit, possibly because the position I was in, replicated a reef knot! Did I mention every single position had an ‘ouch’ factor of about a billion? I’m beginning to despise flexible people.

The Funny Side
With every impossible position, I giggled. Only on the inside, but still I giggled. Me and my great ideas! The funny side was definitely shining through. Perspective is key. Next, I identified it was structurally unsound for my right arm to thread under my bent over body to grab the outside of my stretched out left leg. Being expected to hold that position (without a face-plant into the mat) until the end of the song, was not my idea of enjoyment either. I’m sure they use the same methods to extract vital information from spies who carry out covert operations, not unsuspecting mothers who were simply escaping from the real world for an hour of solitude. (Note to self: next time just go to the library.)

“FYI,” said the instructor, beaming with her yoga glow, “this is the theme song from Avatar.” Good to know but can we resume an upright position before all the blood in my body drains to my head and I pass out in the Unconscious position?

After multiple repetitions of Downward-Facing Dog, Intense Pose, the Warrior Pose, a ridiculous Balancing Dancer’s Pose, the Triangle Pose and a Twinkling Star Pose, I wasn’t sure if I was in a serious exercise class or the children’s crèche! More giggling – on the inside. (No offense to yoga-enthusiasts. Of course yoga is serious and highly effective. I just act immature when it comes to things I didn’t sign up for but are ‘fortunate’ to get anyway. Please read on...) Striking all these poses and gazing at my feet for lengthy periods made one thing very evident – I was in desperate need of a pedicure.

In the Dark

The last ten minutes were announced as a rest period and reward. Cool face washers were served and the lights turned off. More giggling. I couldn't see anyone. For eight minutes – silence, which gave me ample time to mentally write my shopping list, prioritise my impending emails and plan tomorrow night’s dinner. When the lights came on, I was relieved to see everyone was still there. I hoped they’d used their quiet time as effectively as I had.

“I’m back again next week,” announced the instructor. Thanks for the head’s up. I think one girl burst into tears. Glancing around the room, it was hard to gauge the effects the modified class had on the other participants. Poker faces were well intact. Will they return next week for more spine-twisting positions? For me, two questions remained: 1. What on earth did I just do to my body? And 2. As a result of (1) will I be able to walk tomorrow?

Reap the Benefits

The benefits of varied kinds of exercise keeps it interesting. The benefits of attempting something new increases your skill set. Besides, you never know when you may be called upon to strike an Intense Pose at the office or a Downward-Facing Dog at the supermarket checkout. Being highly adaptable and developing the ability to keep a great attitude in a changing or new environment may just sky-rocket you to the front of the line for the next promotion or dream job offer. What can look like a blunder can actually position you perfectly for your next big move if you’ll keep your cool, keep a good attitude and keep on believing. Salutations.

©2010 Philippa Vette