Navigating Those Unexpected Endings

The morning after being retrenched, resigning or retiring is when reality can hit so hard, you may not want to even get out of bed. But if you’re armed with a plan and a strong cup of coffee, not only will you survive – you’ll go on to thrive!

A good, workable plan is in fact a rescue plan, an evacuation plan and a battle plan all rolled into one. If your departure from your workplace came as a surprise, before you go to bed that night, you absolutely must sit down and write a list of what to do the next day. Even with emotions rife, you must pull yourself together to write down at least one reason to get up the next morning. When you’re winded – you need time to get your breath back and there will be time for that, but you must write a list for the next day and state your goal for the end of the first week. Irrespective of whether you achieve it or not, it will give you something to aim for – an objective. In the workplace your whole day/week/year was full of objectives.

Keep a Routine

If step one of your plan is to have objectives to work on for the first day and week, then step two is; keep a routine. Get up at the same time, shower and get dressed for work. Ladies put your make up on! It might sound odd if you’ve just lost your job but in essence you’re still in work mode so make the most of it. You’re not on holiday - you’re going to work, just not at the same place. You’re going to work on finding another job, to update your CV, to network. You’re preparing yourself to meet new people, visit new (work) places, engage in new experiences and initiate a new beginning.

It doesn’t matter if you’re currently out of work, a stay-at-home-mum/dad, retired or on disability, a structured day with a plan will help you feel more satisfied. You can add in hobbies, exercise, catching up with friends but you’ll feel more satisfied if you allocate a certain amount of time to some kind of work or study to grow in knowledge, skills and experience. We feel better about ourselves when we better ourselves. Volunteer work is another great way to sharpen those skills such as punctuality, commitment and reliability. Giving up some of our time for something or someone else helps us appreciate the time that we call our own.

An End Brings a New Beginning

It can be a challenge to say the least, to let go and move on but it is essential if you intend presenting your best for a new job, new opportunity, your current relationships and for your general wellbeing. You may have lost a job but don’t lose your health too! Work through matters with a close friend or partner and ask for their continued support.

It’s not easy if you’ve been with the same company for many years and invested so much of your life into your work, but look at it this way; it wasn’t all for nothing. When a person is challenged, they grow and a larger capacity means they’re so much more capable, giving them so much more to offer in the future. Just ask any new mum! Let things in the past stay there. Though there is a time to mourn the loss or end of something important, simply get up one day and declare, “That’s enough. I’m not going back – I’m going forward.” Then write in your plan the date and the actions you are prepared to take to enable yourself to move forward. (Keep it legal please!)

Avoid a Pity Party

It can be tempting to wallow a little (or a lot) in people’s sympathy but draw the line and tell yourself to get up and get going. There’s a fantastic opportunity coming your way and you’ll never see it with your head down!

When my Dad retired, he already had a plan. He and Mum took a long holiday to UK and Turkey. It was something they’d wanted to do for a long time and it became the perfect bridge from work to retirement. When he came back, the emotion of finishing his working life had been washed out of his system by wonderful experiences, meeting new people and getting far enough away to have a healthy perspective when he returned home. He still has a plan for each day and that includes his hobbies, rest, exercise, socialising, travel as well as home maintenance and cultivating his extensive vegetable garden that really isn’t any smaller than when we all lived at home – though he would probably say it is!

Step four is crucial. When you’ve done the other steps you must also keep good company. Positive, supportive people are gold. Treasure them. Your new beginning starts with the decision not to give up. It takes 21 days to form a new habit and 45 days to break an old one, so you’re going to need a day by day plan for each day of the working week to get you past Day 45. After that, you’re more likely to keep the good habits of your new routine. If you get a job in that time – great but if not, don’t be discouraged, it’s coming. Keep your head up – you have so much to offer and what you thought was the bitter end, may just position you for something far superior, so rewarding and way beyond even your wildest dreams.

©2010 Philippa Vette